Dorkeriffic

Coke...First recipient of the AdverDORK award

Advertising. Can there be a more glorious profession? Simply put, they get to spend their working hours learning what people like, and using that knowledge to figure out how to present "stuff" to people so they'll buy it. It's kind of like a high school popularity contest on steroids. I have nothing against marketers or advertisers. I spent one whole year in an MBA program with an emphasis on marketing. The trouble is that some agencies, and the marketers who hire them, are a little off. Or maybe way off. Additionally they may suffer from the "Emperor has no clothes" syndrome to such a degree that nobody calls stupid stupid. I would be completely remiss if I didn't award some kind of AdverDORK status to such folks.

I'm proud to announce that the first corporation to receive the Dorkeriffic AdverDORK award is Coca-Cola.

]]> On 6/13/05 in their article titled "Teaching the World to Sing -- Again," the Wall Street Journal reported about Coke's new ad campaign. Remember the old hilltop retromercial (you might have seen the original, or caught it on TV Land) with guys and girls standing hand in hand on a hilltop singing a perky little folk tune? "I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony, I'd like to buy the world a Coke and keep it company."

The WSJ reported that the new commercial is a nod to the original, with a hip-hop spin on it. It goes something like this..."I'd like to teach the world to chill, take time to stop and smile, I'd like to buy the world a Coke and chill with it a while." Seriously. They managed to get rapper G Love to perform this diddy. I hope for his sake they paid him a boatload of money to do this.

Let's see...looks like they'll be able to alienate the Boomers, Rap and Hip-Hop demographics in one fell swoop! Why not? It's the real thing ;-) Anyone who thought this was a great idea must be an unconscious Dork. A conscious Dork would have known this was a Dorky idea and run the other way, or done it completely tongue-in-cheek.

So to you, Coca-Cola, and your agency of record, for your "chilltop" campaign idea I grant you the Dorkeriffic title of AdverDORK.

Ohana means no Dork left behind

I'm just back from Oahu. Hawaii is a great place. You can be a Dork and dress like a tourist and everyone is happy to see you.

So how do you spot a Dork (like ME) in Hawaii? Here are your 5 clues.

]]> 1. The Dork (of euro-mutt descent) is the only one without either a "spray on" or natural tan. Just pale skin covered in SPF 45 UVA/UVB sunscreen.

2. Tennis shoes on the beach. A dead giveaway.

3. Everyone else is wearing ball caps. The Dork is in a panama hat or a wide brimmed straw hat.

4. The Dork is online answering e-mail every day. Hey Dork girl! Get a life and go snorkeling or something!

5. Camera around neck, shorts, an aloha shirt, and a puka shell necklace (or lei.) Takes pictures of everything (including the slug on the ground in the world's largest maze at the Dole Pineapple Plantation.)

Bonus Clue: the Dork is the one who walks right into the security scanner at Hilo Hattie's because she isn't looking where she's going :-)

Dork in the City...

It's only fair that since I plan to discuss my favorite Dorks, and what qualifies them for inclusion on that list, that I tell a story on myself first. After all, I believe that it takes one to appreciate one.

So here we go. Picture Los Angeles circa 1998. I was in LA pretty frequently attending a trade shows. At the Western Cable show there were ample opportunities to make a Dork of myself. Let's see, I got my picture taken with a Robin Williams look alike, got autographs from several celebrities, including Matt Frewer ("Max Headroom", Sherlock Holmes,) Jules Asner from Entertainment Tonight, and a photo with Randolph Mantooth ("Emergency!") what a nice guy! I collected bags full of info to take home, and of course, a few logo trinkets for family and friends. On a scale of 1 to 10, that probably put me at about a 3 or 4 (low to mid grade Dork.)

But that wasn't what clinched my Dork title.

]]> There was that trade show where my buddies from PBS and I were hanging out at one of the evening social gatherings, and a band was playing all kinds of really great and danceable stuff. Well, my friends nagged, prodded, and otherwise goaded me into hitting the dance floor with a guy from PBS named "Atilla." What were his parents thinking?? I was afraid to ask his last name. So here's Atilla, who's an exceptional ballroom dancer, trying to teach me how to rumba.

Now, being that I'm a musician, I know how to PLAY music. Dancing is another thing altogether. I didn't have the benefit of a great "teach yourself how to dance" video, like Napoleon Dynamite did, to prepare me. Quick, let me hide behind a guitar, PLEASE. After crashing into Atilla a few times, I did eventually get the hang of it. OK, so public dance lessons from a guy named Atilla at a trade show with your colleagues, that's got to be at least a 6 on the Dork scale.

But what really put me on the Dorkosphere, so to speak, happened during an interactive TV trade show. Of course, Microsoft was trying to establish themselves as the major player in the ITV space and so they threw a lavish invitation only party one evening during the show. It was complete with Cirque style dancer/acrobats, and an oxygen bar. My colleague Jud got tickets to the event and was kind enough to give me one. Jud knows everyone...you've heard of the 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon? Hey, that's nothing compared to the 3 degrees of Jud. Anyway, I met Jud at the event, and as we started to go in there was a tall, cool, GQ looking guy near the entrance who extended his hand to me.

I reached out my hand, grabbed his and shook it. I smiled at him and said something about what a beautiful evening it was, told him my name and said it was a pleasure to meet him. All of his GQ cool disappeared and he stumbled for words like a schoolboy caught daydreaming. My friend, Jud, was doubled over chuckling. When GQ guy got his cool back he managed to ask me for my ticket.

Sheryl scores a 22 on the Dorkmeter of 1 to 10. That turnip truck over there? Yeah, that's my ride.

What is a Dork?

So what exactly is a Dork? The meaning appears to have changed over the years. Where's a good etymologist when you need one? When I was a kid, "Dork" was used primarily in a derogatory tone and typically meant something akin to "silly, idiotic, irritating goofball" and usually inferred that the owner of the title had no clue regarding what was hip or cool or otherwise socially acceptable. After endless discussions with my daughter, however, I've discovered that in today's culture, "Dork" has a different, possibly even a positive connotation. Thus, this study in the social ecology of Dork was born.

The wikipedia definition of Dork "describes someone who is typically socially inept, but in such a way that people enjoy the dork's company in spite, or even because of it." Hmmm. I'll buy about 75% of that definintion. How about this for a definition?

]]> A Dork is someone who is just off-beat enough that they don't care to follow the obvious trends. Because of this a Dork would never be classified as hip or cool (so not much has changed there.) While to the untrained or shallow person a Dork may appear socially inept, a Dork is actually quite adept at interacting with many social groups. It would be very common to see a Dork interacting successfully with a geek, nerd, prep, band twinkie, artist, and so on. A Dork would not adopt the dress or mannerisms of these subgroups in any significant way.

I don't believe there is a specific correlation between dorkiness and intelligence or accomplishment. I've met Dorks who possess outstanding skills and abilities in multiple areas (a double or triple threat Dork), and Dorks who are just plain average.

One thing is clear, Dork is actually a term of great affection used between Dorks. As a matter of fact, many Dorks feel quite honored to be referred to as a Dork. It's a point of pride. So from time to time in this blog, if I refer to someone as a Dork, it's always from a position of respect, and affection.

Dorkeriffic - My mission

Maybe it was the giggles and dumbfounded looks I got from my classmates, or the sigh of impatience from my 2nd grade teacher that clued me in. We had learned in class that day about a new phoenetically based spelling system. So naturally, when it came time to do spelling exercises in class and the teacher asked us to spell "squirrel" I blurted out with enthusiasm, "S-K-W-I-R-E-L." No one voiced the moniker, but I knew even at that young age I was different. I was a DORK.

Sheryl Paige
www.sherylpaige.com

]]> Later events in life only confirmed my early suspicions. Like the infamous "apple" incident, and the co-ed basketball fiasco. I will save those stories for another time. Suffice it to say, both feet were firmly planted in dorkdom by my teenage years.

As I grew and my dorkosphere expanded I learned clever ways to interact with all socio-economic and racial strata. I even managed to learn guitar and how to write songs, so to some I became an "artist." Always at the core, though, lurks my true dorky self.

I'm married and have a daughter now, and true to form, as was pointed out in last Friday's "Zits" comic strip..."Everything mom touches turns to DORK"...my daughter is a self confessed dork, and proud of it.

Maybe you've felt the same way a time or two (or ten thousand.) Here at this blog my intent is to explore the art of being a dork, the wonders of dork culture, consider what it really means to be a dork, and even recognize the accomplishments of other dorks. Hey, we have to stick together, right?